Month: December 2022

preparations and traditions

/ Rachel Fenton / 1 Comment

It’s been a busy December: much of my time has been taken up with Christmas preparations, and still there are traditions that we didn’t make time for this year. Gingerbread baking (and many other classic holiday treats) will have to wait for next year.

But we still watched our favorite nostalgic Christmas films such as White Christmas and A Charlie Brown Christmas. There was something magical about watching Michael see them for the first time. Even though he won’t remember them, his wonder and innocence made watching them as a family even more special.

We also made room for some new traditions. One of my oldest and dearest friends flew out to join us for Christmas, and we all walked along one of the festive streets in town to look at their Christmas lights. There were some incredibly beautiful decorations (the Grinch was my personal favorite).

It was a beautiful, simple evening: we all were bundled up in knitwear and jackets, and we reminisced about our favorite Christmas movies as we walked.

We were touched by the neighborly cheer and friendliness from all the people walking with us on the brilliantly lit sidewalks. Kids laughed and squealed with excitement, grandparents walked arm in arm, and we sang Christmas carols as we went. We even snuck in a little harmony when we could.

PG&E finally installed the new power pole earlier this week, meaning we can now have air conditioning installed for the summer. We’re grateful they allowed temporary power to our house so we could move in in October, and we’re glad the final large step for our home is complete.

We were without power the entire day while they worked, and the sun was hidden behind thick grey clouds. I lit the Advent wreath and it glowed brightly on our table, the only source of light and warmth in our home. It seemed fitting.

Michael enjoyed watching the men working, and all the trucks with their flashing lights. I think Jake and dad enjoyed it too. It was quite an ordeal: seven trucks, and half the street was shut down to traffic.

We have a gas stove, so for dinner I made vegetable barley soup by candlelight. Our little cottage was incredibly cozy. I must admit, I was almost a little disappointed when the power came back on halfway through our meal. We were all grateful for the ability to turn the heat on however, since the house temperature had dropped to 60 degrees.

We are preparing for a quiet Christmas: it’s a bit different this year, as we think of those whose places at our table will be empty. As we all navigate grief and exhaustion for a medley of different reasons as a family, I’m grateful for these Christmas traditions. They’re a balm to our souls: they gave us bright memories that we can all talk about and remember, and they remain beautiful and comforting despite how many things have changed throughout the years. And we can experience their joy renewed through the eyes of Michael as he gets to celebrate his first Christmas.

This year seems to have been heavy for many of us: many of my closest and dearest friends and family members have experienced profound loss and grief and pain. I know the same goes for many others. If you have had a difficult year, I pray that you also may find peace and joy in these simple traditions like Christmas lights and carols.

eleven months

/ Rachel Fenton / 3 Comments

Michael turned eleven months last week. It seems as though he’s grown in leaps and bounds over the past month. He’s incredibly talkative and vivacious, earnestly saying “yeah” or shaking his head, waving and saying “bye-bye” to Jake as he goes out to work, and trying his hardest to mimic whatever words we might be saying.

He’s very excited over the Christmas trees and shining lights. It’s been quite a task to keep him (and our cat Chai) from knocking over our little blue spruce. We plan to plant his first Christmas tree outside his window, so it can grow with him.

Michael is close to walking: he often takes a series of short steps to get to something (or someone) he wants. He still thinks crawling is more practical for getting from point A to point B, however.

Music remains Michael’s favorite thing: he now bobs up and down whenever he particularly loves a song, and nods his head in time to the beat (usually). He loves playing the Irish tin whistle with me and has learned how to blow into it. He also loves playing the piano beside me, and watching Uncle Jon play the organ and piano. Every time he hears Jake sing in church, he turns to watch and listen. Sometimes he even sings along.

He still fights naps and bedtime with an intense passion, afraid he’ll miss out on something exciting. I remind myself often that this willpower is a strength of his, and will be quite a force to be reckoned with when properly directed.

(But yes, I’m still tired and look forward to sleeping through the night again at some point).

On very short car trips he often chatters to me from his seat while I drive, and sings along to whatever we’re listening to. However, he hates being in his car seat with the same passion as nap time. When we arrive at our destination he’s usually elated to be out and about, but the journey there often puts all of us through purgatory.

He wasn’t quite sure about Saint Nicholas when he came to visit our church, but he still posed for a picture. Michael isn’t shy, but he’s quiet and will observe people he doesn’t know from the corner of his eye as he plays. He’s got quite the doubtful stare — I swear, he copied all his expressions from his father.

He’s so joyful and fiery and funny and gentle: I love watching his personality unfold each passing month. I love you, sweet boy. Happy eleven months.

knits & bits

/ Rachel Fenton / 2 Comments

It’s been a while since I’ve had a post dedicated to my knitting progress. I’ve been spending most evenings knitting in my chair by the window, often with a glass of wine or a cup of tea, and a TV show or podcast playing in the background. Jake bought me a neck-light for Christmas and gave it to me early so I could knit darker yarn without my eyes straining.

Yes, I have completely embraced being a twenty-something grandma.

My main project is a sweater for Jake (his birthday and Christmas present). The pattern is the Gib II Sweater (For Him) by Andrea Mowry. It’s not going to be a surprise because I want it to fit him perfectly, so he’s tried it on at every step. It’s the most challenging project I’ve made so far: the cabled raglans and textured stitch pattern require concentration.

I’ve finished the yoke, and I’m a few inches into the body, so about half way through. Ish.

The yarn I’m using is Brooklyn Tweed’s Imbue. I’m absolutely obsessed. It’s soft and light and springy and warm and so much fun to knit. I’m determined to someday make myself a matching sweater in the same yarn, different color. The colors are deep and vibrant, too — and multilayered.

I’ve been knitting on this sweater almost exclusively, hoping to finish it in time for Christmas. I’m not sure I’ll complete it by the deadline but I’m still proud of my progress.

However, I’ve never been able to stick to just one knitting project at a time. I always have a “car project” that I can pull out whenever I’m sitting in the passenger seat or waiting somewhere. Recently, I got to sit at a coffee shop and read and knit while I waited for my haircut appointment. If it’s a simple project, I’ve gotten to the point where I can read and knit at the same time, and it’s quite fun.

I’m also dreaming and preparing for my next project. I wear cowls and shawls a lot, and I also wanted to expand my knitting skills, so the Shift Cowl by Andrea Mowry was a perfect choice. (can you tell I have a favorite knitwear designer?)

Not only is it the perfect project to learn mosaic knitting, it’s absolutely gorgeous. Plus, it gave me an excuse to splurge on some yarn I’ve been eyeing for quite some time. Spincycle Yarn is magical: each skein is a work of art.

I chose their moody Nocturne yarn in the color ways Dream On, Night Watch, and Night Moves. The colors are subtle and dark but still vibrant. I’m so excited to add this cowl to my me-made wardrobe.

Speaking of me-made wardrobe items, the weather has finally been cold enough to wear knits consistently. When we went out to dinner, my best friend snapped this picture of me wearing my newly finished sweater.

The other item I wear constantly is my Adrift Shawl. It also has a nice textured stitch pattern (moss stitch and garter stitch) and it’s also made with dark and moody colors. I love the way it enhances my wardrobe.

In other making news, I recently purchased this zine on making braided rag rugs from TheFarWoods. I already own their book on mending and repurposing fabric and clothing, and their zine helped me learn different ways to join my scraps of fabric together. I’m glad to have a better use for ripped or stained clothing, instead of throwing them away.

I’m always amazed at how grounding and relaxing it is to create things with your hands. Whenever I’m overwhelmed, sitting with a few rows of knitting helps me become present in my body and focus on the sensations and motions in front of me. In the midst of the season’s busyness, if you have a chance, I recommend taking a few moments to settle yourself and make something with your hands.

setting the table

/ Rachel Fenton / 5 Comments

I have a confession to make:

…I used to be an Advent stickler.

That meant no Christmas music, no Christmas tree, no decorations until well into December. The only hints of Christmas were the Advent wreath upon the table and all eight verses of O Come O Come Emmanuel playing on repeat.

I used to shake my head at the department stores with their Christmas decorations going up before our Halloween candy was gone. Thanksgiving hadn’t even arrived yet: it was much too early to even think about Christmas

Recently, though, my stance on Advent has changed. Before I explain, I want to note I’m that not scoffing at those who are self-proclaimed Advent sticklers — there is a beauty in simplicity, and in the ascetic response to the consumerism that often inundates the secular celebration of Christmas. And often it does feel like the world skips straight to the celebration without preparing for the feast.

Yet the Orthodox Nativity Fast has us preparing for the birth of Christ even earlier than many department stores. Starting on November 15th (in the New Calendar), we begin to prepare our minds and bodies and souls for the Nativity of Christ.

At first, it was difficult for me to think about Christmas “so early” (even though forty days prior doesn’t seem too early for Pascha/Easter). The Incarnation of our Lord is a major feast: and major feasts take major preparation.

It reminds me of all of the thought and hard work that goes into throwing a party. There’s cooking and decorating and planning and cleaning and organizing — so much to do! Preparing well takes time. As much as all of us love to procrastinate, there are some things we can’t put off until the last minute. When you look at the ornate feasts thrown in movies or paintings, you see the time and care that went into every element of the table setting. The sparkling dishes, the carefully folded napkins, the decorations, the multiple-course banquet: it takes time and community and intentionality to prepare well for a feast.

I would argue preparing well also requires joy. We plan our parties with excitement and anticipation (even the introverted among us). What good is a party if all the arrangements were made grudgingly or half-heartedly?

When we let the seasons of the Church permeate our everyday life, the rhythms of fast and feast, of preparation and celebration, begin to shape and form us.

One of the glorious things about letting the seasons of the Church permeate our everyday life is the sense of “already and not yet”. In a very real way, we live at a point in time after the Incarnation of Christ. Yet in a very real way, we are also preparing for the Incarnation to occur. The season of Advent not only reminds us to prepare for Christ’s first coming, but also His second.

I’ve come to cherish these forty days before Christmas. Now I start preparing as soon as the Nativity Fast begins. I add decorations and reminders in increments throughout the weeks: placing our Nativity icon in the forefront of our prayer corner. Changing our tablecloth to the festive one. Baking gingerbread. Helping my parents and grandparents decorate their houses. Lighting our Western Advent wreath as soon as December begins. Getting our Christmas tree. Revisiting On the Incarnation by St Athanasius. Listening to Hansel’s Messiah.

(I do wait to play Christmas music til after Thanksgiving. I’m not a complete monster.)

I see each of these things as a way to “set the table” to prepare for the feast. The table is set, but we are still waiting for the arrival of our guests. The beauty of the music and decorations remind me to take joy in the preparation. The discipline of the Nativity Fast helps me to intentionally prepare the way, and make ourselves ready for the King of Kings.

Michael’s shoes set out for St Nicholas Day

Whether you decorate before Thanksgiving, or wait til December 24th, I hope your Advent season is one of hopeful, peaceful, joyful preparation.