Month: April 2025

small mercies

/ Rachel Fenton / 2 Comments

We survived Lent and made it to Holy Week! It’s always a challenge to make it to evening services with young kids, but Jake and Michael were able to go on Monday, and all of us were able to go on Tuesday. We will see how many more we can make it to this week.

I was stunned at how well Tuesday went — the kids did really well despite being exhausted. My new trick is to pack pajamas and blankets to change into after church, and call it a “car sleepover”. Both kids fell asleep halfway through the drive home and transferred to bed relatively seamlessly, which never happens. Praise God for His small mercies!

I’ve had a bit of a cleaning bug the past week or so. I spent a day rearranging our large side porch so we could spend more time playing on it. I wish I had a “before” picture because it’s a rather dramatic transformation. It had become a storage area and catch-all for recycling and boxes. Now, half of it is a play area for the kids and half of it is a place for adults to sit and watch the kids play. It’s been really nice to play there in the shade while the temps are in the high 70s and 80s.

We even have had some “picnics” out there. Beatrice found out she can stand on the kid picnic table and has been unstoppable ever since.

We’ve done some gardening as well, planting tomatoes, basil, peppers, and a handful of other flowers and plants. Michael now has a pair of gardening gloves just his size, and he loves helping me weed and water. I got him a watering can of his own after he used the hose to water his sister…it helps mitigate the damage he can cause.

I’m hoping to get a picnic table for our garden too, and lay down bark mulch in between the garden beds for easier weed control. Eventually, we will have a trellis over our walkway/garden gate for the jasmine to climb, and string lights around our gravel pad…I have lots of grand plans, but we shall see what we accomplish this year. It’s ever a balance between ideals and reality.

I sewed Michael the Sunny Hat (free pattern!) by Twig & Tale, using some scrap linen from my stash and tractor quilting cotton he picked out himself. He loves wearing it while he’s running around outside — I must admit, I’m tickled by how much he loves wearing anything I make him.

Beatrice has gotten more verbal: she now says “bye bye” very clearly, and blows raspberries as she plays with toy cars. She also says “grandpa” with Michael’s exact intonation, which is pretty funny. Whenever anyone’s speaking loudly or shouting across distances, she has to shout too. She has a handful of other words like Mama, Dada, cat, dog, and others I’m having trouble remembering right now. And she’s discovered she can pick strawberries and eat them fresh from the vine.

Michael and I have been reading A Children’s Garden of Verses (illustrated by Tasha Tudor — a glorious book) while Bea has her midday nap. He plays with his “magic sand” or watercolors or play dough while I read aloud. We played around with repeating back lines of the poems to each other too. Eventually we’ll do morning memorization time, when Bea is a bit older and less demanding of my attention.

I grew up learning poems and Scripture around the breakfast table, and I can still recite them 20 years later. While I didn’t quite appreciate it at the time, I’m so grateful to my parents for prioritizing memorization at a young age. It’s something I’m determined to pass on to my kids.

The phrase “praise God for His small mercies” has fallen into my daily vocabulary lately. When I say it, I don’t mean “small” in a diminutive sense. It reminds me of one of my favorite quotes by Therese of Lisieux:

The splendor of the rose and the whiteness of the lily do not rob the little violet of its scent nor the daisy of its simple charm.
If every tiny flower wanted to be a rose, spring would lose its loveliness.

Therese of Lisieux

The small mercies, like small flowers, are absolutely lovely. And I cherish them.

That’s where I’m at this Holy Week: very aware of my smallness, and very grateful for our God who sees and loves the smallest parts of His creation.

Right now, I’m taking each day as it comes and doing the work set before me with the energy I have available. I’ve said the same before in times of stress with resignation, head down and teeth gritted. But that’s not where I’m at right now. I’m in a place of peace. I look forward to the day ahead. I’m excited about the work set before me. I enjoy the beautiful little moments, and with God’s help, recover from the difficult ones.

Praise God for His small mercies.

play time

/ Rachel Fenton / Leave a comment

Spring has fully arrived and Beatrice has put it in her step: she has finally decided that walking suits her. She toddles everywhere very excitedly, though she often sits down whenever Michael comes near — preemptively making sure she doesn’t get bowled over by his exuberance. It’s been so sweet watching her grow. She is such a joy.

Michael, too, seems to have gone through a spring growth spurt. He’s grown more inquisitive and articulate, constantly wanting to know how things work and why things are the way they are. He’s currently trying to figure out knock-knock jokes, but he doesn’t quite have the hang of it. Right now, they go like this:

Michael: Knock knock!

Me: Who’s there?

Michael: Orange!

Me: Orange who?

Michael: OWL!! *laughing uproariously*

It’s a joke half inspired by an episode of Little Bear and half inspired by his own goofy sense of humor.

We’ve had some other cute toddlerisms recently:

Michael calls above the torso “upper body” and below the torso “downer body”

Michael: I love you!

Jake: I love you more!

Michael: I love you SIX!

Michael: I love making friends! I’m good at making friends! Mama, I can teach YOU how!

My brother was unexpectedly in town last week for twenty-four hours after touring grad schools in our state, and the kids were so delighted to see him.

Michael especially loved playing on the trampoline with his uncle/godfather. We had a great weekend of quality family time.

In household news, I successfully made (and have kept alive!) a sourdough starter. In the past when I’d tried to make a starter or been given one, I promptly killed it. But it’s been a month of success with this one! I must admit, I’m a little too absent-minded to be any good at bread-making. This might make sourdough enthusiasts cringe, but I don’t measure when I feed my starter: I just add flour and water until it looks like thick pancake batter. I’ve only made one loaf of bread so far, and it was adequate enough, but I have used lots of the discard to make crackers. The kids love them, they’re super easy to make, and they’re absolutely delicious topped with Trader Joe’s Green Goddess seasoning and eaten with hummus.

I’ve been on a sewing spree after months of not touching my machine. Again, I blame spring: I usually get bitten by the sewing bug around April. I made my dress for Pascha: I have no pictures of me wearing it yet, as I want to take some nice ones on Pascha. But I’m very proud of it and can’t wait to show it off.

One of my favorite pattern designers released a free laptop sleeve. I’ve needed one for ages, and had almost everything I needed to make one in my stash.

I hand-quilted the front and back and sewed it together in an afternoon during Bea’s nap. It was such a delight to make, even though it was my first time ever sewing with zippers. It’s a little wonky, but that’s the joy of handmade things, isn’t it?

Now that we’re not sick and we’ve taken intentional steps to reduce stress in our family life, we’ve been spending a lot more time outdoors. It’s been so good for our collective health (mental and physical). Like we used to do when Michael was a baby, I spread a blanket out in the shade of the orange tree in the mid afternoon. I bring snacks and books, and we play. Michael rides his balance bike, Bea climbs around and chases the dogs, and I read or knit or kick the soccer ball with Michael.

I’ve been thinking lately on the importance of playtime.

As a culture, we’ve lost the concept of play and good leisure time: everything must be productive or lucrative in some material sense. Hobbies become side-hustles. Having a healthy work-life balance negatively impacts utilization metrics at work. Sleeplessness and exhaustion are badges of merit. And don’t get me started on the loss of play and leisure time in the average child’s school life.

I’m the first to admit I care much too much about productivity. But both becoming a parent and reading about childhood development have convicted me about this. Play is crucial for children: there’s so much research that supports this. We need to play. It’s good for us — and not just for kids, but for adults too.

I know my kids watch everything I do (Lord have mercy). They look to me and to Jake for how to live their lives. So I really want them to see US play too. So we’ve been trying, very imperfectly, to play more. To open more space in our days for doing “nothing”, and letting the kids have those moments of boredom that lead to some of the most golden playtimes.

And of course, it’s led to me renewing my age-old struggle against screen time, finding that balance between ideals and reality. I’m sure I’ll be doing it all my life. If I had more brainpower I’d incorporate Aristotle and his concept of the virtuous mean into this blog post somehow, but instead…I’ll go play with my kids.