It’s been a busy time: both my siblings graduated from the University of Dallas this weekend, and we flew out to be there with them and cheer them on. It was so wonderful to see them again.

They both have awesome jobs in Texas, and the beginnings of flourishing adult lives. I’m so proud of them, and all that they’ve accomplished and the ways they have grown in wisdom and virtue. They are both truly remarkable human beings. I’m delighted to call them my brother and sister.

Michael did amazingly well during the graduation, and my incredible husband wrangled him the entire time so I could watch my siblings graduate. However, my mom did snap a pretty hilarious picture of his grumpy face I had to share:

I felt something bittersweet as I watched them walk across that stage. It seems like only a little while ago I was graduating college and they were graduating high school. It seems like only a little while ago I was moving into my dorm freshman year and they were helping me carry boxes from the car. It seems like only a little while ago we were all kids running around outside and building fairy houses and jumping on the trampoline.

It’s a new chapter of life for them, and for us. Things are changing. For the first time in decades, none of us will have the rhythm of the school semester woven throughout our year. Now we are all adjusting our concept of home, and strengthening our concept of family.

The twins’ graduation made me realize just how much Michael has grown too, with another pang of bittersweetness. He turned sixteen months over the weekend, and it made me think of all the ways he’s changed and grown over the past month.

This tech detox has extended to the whole family: he has had no screen time (except for during the plane ride, which was a necessary exception for all of us). Instead we’ve been reading a lot of books. While parenting without screens has been much harder, it’s been delightful. He usually brings me a stack of books and snuggles next to me on the couch, turning pages for me and echoing his favorite words.

His favorite books are currently Little Blue Truck and Brown Bear Brown Bear What Do You See? We read them several times a day, and we have them memorized. He loves chiming along with “beep” or pointing to “brown bear”.

Another thing the tech detox has helped: instead of seeing me stare at my phone, he has been seeing me read much more often. During the in-between times, I sit with my book instead of my phone as he plays with his trucks or kicks his ball around our porch. Now, if he sees me sitting with a book, he often comes over with a book of his own.

We’ve also been playing in the garden quite a bit. He loves stacking planting containers, and putting dirt in his dump truck. He found out he can eat strawberries straight from the plant, and promptly consumed all ripe berries (and unripe ones too, when I wasn’t looking).

His language and comprehension has exploded. He’s fascinated by the names of body parts and loves to point out eyes and noses and mouths and toes, on us and on himself and on pictures in books. His newest favorite is “belly”, which means I have to keep an eye out when we’re in public, because he might decide to suddenly lift my shirt and triumphantly shout BELLY! for all the world to hear (and see).

He’s tall enough to reach things on the table, and has started using chairs to climb onto the table and reach the countertops. Nothing is safe. He also discovered the fun game of emptying bookshelves.

On the flight to Dallas, I was touched by my son’s tender heart and sensitivity to Christ. While we were sitting on the tarmac for almost an hour waiting to deplane, everyone’s patience was thin. Michael, sitting still on my lap for a few rare seconds, suddenly saw my cross necklace and with a big smile leaned forward and kissed the cross with a resounding mwah! He did this several times, pausing in between to look at me, or look at the figure of Jesus on the cross. We kiss the priest’s hand cross every Sunday at the end of Liturgy, and I hadn’t realized how deeply that had become engrained in him.

I forget how often I fall into the trap of equating hard with bad. It’s so easy to let comfort and ease dictate my choices. However, parenting has helped me veer away from this tendency. It is the hardest and most exhausting and difficult thing I have ever done, and it is the most delightful and fulfilling and rewarding thing I have ever done.

Sometimes the hard, difficult thing truly is what’s best and good and makes us holier people: tech detoxes, or working out, or life changes, or growing up.