Well, Michael has forsworn naps. It’s been a week of continuous nap-strike despite all our efforts, and he’s still waking 1+ times a night. Jake and I are resigned to our new normal, but please offer up prayers for our resilience and sleep schedules!

At least he’s really, really cute.

As much as I loved Michael’s first Christmas, I’m enjoying his second even more. He now understands the traditions we’re building, and they’re magical to him. He now calls his blue shoes his “St Nicholas shoes”, and asks to read or watch How the Grinch Stole Christmas at least twice a day. He loves Christmas trees and points them out every time we see them in stores or pictures.

He also inherited my love of chilly weather and rain. Recently, we woke up to a rainstorm and decided to go splash outside. We couldn’t find his rain jacket, so he wore mine for a little before it fell off.

Then we warmed up inside with his first taste of hot cocoa and marshmallows.

I’ve been able to sneak in small bits of making during in-between times: knitting during TV snuggles on the couch, spindle spinning while he’s playing independently, sewing late at night after Michael’s in bed.

I finished my first pair of shorty socks in the hand-dyed colorway A Long Expected Party by tinyhumanknits. I used the book Sock Knitter’s Bible to fit a basic pattern to my feet and style, and they only took me about three days to complete. They’re so comfortable, and I plan to make many more for everyday use.

I’m now working on a more complicated sock pattern called My Favorite Sweater Socks. They’re a mix of seed stitch, ribbing, and cables, and while they’re slower knitting, I’m enjoying the process.

I’m still working on several gift knits, so much of my current making must remain a secret for at least another week. But some gift knitting I can share! I made these small toys a while ago for my dear friend’s children: two birds and a small rabbit. I finally got them in the mail to her (I’m the worst at mailing packages).

I also finished and sent off my classic baby knit gift, the Beloved bonnet, in a lavender shade for a new niece of mine, and another for a dear friend’s son in a forest green. I also sent off a onesie for another precious niece.

I finished Michael’s Christmas sweater, using Jessica McDonald’s pattern Little Treeline. It fits him well in the body, though I should’ve added another inch to the sleeves. It’s hard to get a good photo of an active toddler modeling a sweater, but I did manage to snap one at church while he cuddled on Grandpa, and one while he ran around our living room.

I’ve also finished a few sewing projects! I’m proudest of my Hinterland Dress (pattern by SewLiberated). It was my first time doing a placket and buttonholes, and it turned out splendidly, though there was a learning curve.

I used a linen-rayon blend fabric, and it’s deliciously soft and drapey. I plan on making at least two more of these dresses in slightly different styles. They fit my body well, and are pregnancy and breastfeeding friendly.

I’ve had to learn to make time for my making, in the same way that I make time for prayers and my son and my husband. Now that Michael’s no longer napping it’s become more difficult — but I’ve also become more intentional about finding those precious minutes. Sometimes, that means knitting a few rows before the dishes are done or the laundry is folded. Sometimes, it means knitting while he snuggles on my lap watching Little Bear. It fills my cup, and I’m a happier mom and wife when I’ve taken time to do something that brings me joy.

It’s been important to continue my making as I embrace my changing pregnant body. As clothes begin to feel awkward around my 28 week bump and maternity clothes don’t quite fit right (and they never really do), it’s easy to feel…insecure.

At a young age I internalized the cultural narrative that a larger body is merely from a lack of self-discipline, and therefore ugly. It’s taken a lot of growth to realize that my changing sizes don’t indicate laziness or failure or lack of virtue. In fact, in the case of pregnancy it’s the opposite: my larger size is an outward sign of the work my body is doing to grow our little girl, and the obedience and self-sacrifice pregnancy requires. Clothing my body in garments I make intentionally for my own measurements, from fabrics and colors I love, is my way of embracing these changes, and my way of giving thanks for these changes as well.

Also, making has become a time of contemplation. As I knit, or spin, or sew, I form blog or Substack posts or stories in my head, or I pray. My making time and my prayer time often weave into each other. It’s an overlap of prayer and work: ora et labora. I found that the steps of the knit stitch fit seamlessly into the Jesus prayer.

Lord Jesus Christ,

Son of God,

Have mercy on me

A sinner.

This time of life is a difficult one, even though the pictures and words here may make it look idyllic. One of our dear friends, my mother’s godmother, is on hospice. My grandfather was recently diagnosed with melanoma, and has surgery and appointments over the next few weeks to get us more information on the severity. At work, busy season approaches for Jake, which means longer hours and later nights. Stress, anxiety, and exhaustion run rampant.

It’s easy to get overwhelmed and rundown (especially with a nap-striking toddler). The TV has been on much more than I would care to admit, and we’ve spent many hours snuggling and watching Little Bear, and fewer hours playing outside. The mom guilt is real.

But, in the midst of all the grief and heaviness that comes with living in a broken world, there is wonder and delight and magic. I think that’s especially clear at Christmas, in the eyes of a toddler hanging ornaments or trying hot cocoa for the first time after splashing in puddles. And I see this magic more clearly when I pick up my needles and knit for a few quiet moments, and repeat softly, Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.