I thought I’d start this with an honest admission: I’m having more and more difficulty writing posts right now. With the increase of AI scraping human-made writing for its own slop and the increase of AI being used to create disturbing content from photos on the internet, it’s been very hard for me to justify posting pictures of my kids and offering more of my own words for it to chew up.

It’s also got me thinking: how do I preserve their childhood and privacy in this strange digital age? How do I continue to joyfully create and share with my friends and family in this online landscape that feels less and less human with every passing day?

I wish I had answers. But I don’t. I’m just torn between writing out my thoughts and experiences and the joy I experience in my little corner of the world…and keeping them silent and safe.

All that to say…I’ve been sitting on this post for a while because of those answerless thoughts. I’m publishing this one since it’s mostly already written, but if my posts are fewer and farther between in the future, hopefully my readers know why and can understand as I work out my relationship between the internet and my family.

Be prepared for a long post!

We ended June with a whirlwind trip to the Midwest to visit Jake’s family. The airplane trip was actually a lovely adventure: the kids found it fascinating, and we’d purchased each of them a portable DVD player for the flight so they had all their favorite movies when they got bored of the snacks and their Yoto players.

We spent some time at a KOA with a bunch of extended family: cousins, aunts, uncles, and more. It was a bit grueling with a heat advisory — 80% humidity and 90+ degrees — but we survived with lots of water, electrolytes, pool time, spray bottles, and breaks in some of the air-conditioned cabins.

The kids had so, so much fun. Seeing how much they love their cousins is a delight — now, a month later, they still talk about their cousins and friends and how excited they are to see them again. We parents have been talking about getting a MyPhone or TinCanKids phone for each household, so the cousins can safely and easily call each other up more often.

We got the cousins’ picture — it’s so precious to see how it’s progressed and grown through the years. With the coming of our new little one, there will be 20 beautiful, cherished souls in total.

We also spent a few more days at Jake’s older sister’s house, where the kids played and ran amok while the adults recuperated from the camping trip. Michael was introduced to violin by Aunt Johannah, and now is very excited to someday learn an instrument. He currently can’t decide between violin, piano, trumpet, electric guitar, or drums. I told him we’ll make a decision when he’s five.

The flight home was almost eventful: our initial flights got delayed enough to have us miss our connections, but we ended up switching to an earlier flight. Despite being separated (Jake ended up in the front of the plane, and the kids and I were in the last row) we made it home before midnight, and once again the portable DVD players were the saviors of the flight. I can’t recommend them strongly enough for parents who need to travel with youngsters and don’t want to use an iPad or any device connected to WiFi.

Since we flew back home on our 7th wedding anniversary, Jake and I celebrated quietly the day of with a donut from an airport coffee shop, and celebrated in more style when we were home, at our favorite restaurant with excellent cocktails/mocktails and fresh, locally-sourced dinners.

The next few weeks were quiet and beautiful. We had lots of family time, book reading, outdoor play, and early bedtimes to recover from the jet lag. I did a lot of writing for my job with HERLIFE Magazine, in preparation for the break I’ll be taking this fall when our little boy joins us and I’m recovering postpartum. I’m grateful for my local coffee shop for providing delicious caffeination and a sanctuary away from the distractions of home.

We made homemade ice cream as another little celebration of our anniversary, which was incredible. First we did some plain vanilla, then branched out to strawberry (with fresh strawberries blended in) and chocolate peanut butter cup with dark chocolate. All of them were indescribably good, and all of us agreed to make homemade ice cream a summer tradition.

Uncle James came to spend some of his summer break with us, and the kids were beyond delighted (as were we). We played a lot of games, read a lot of books, and our evenings without kids were spent laughing over video games and comedy shows. They most definitely cried when he had to go home, but were soothed by promises of seeing him later in August.

More friends visited! We got to meet a sweet baby girl we’ve prayed for since she was in her mama’s womb, and spend some time with lovely friends.

Since my brain has been so foggy from pregnancy fatigue and aches and pains, I’ve paused my knitting and spinning for the time being. When my body hurts as much as it does currently, it’s hard for me to use my hands and count as much as each hobby requires. So, I shifted to painting as a way to calm my mind and channel my creative energy. I painted the kids each a family of peg dolls and a little house for them to live in, with popsicle stick and bottle cap furniture. They loved them, and are still playing with them constantly.

I then moved to other painting projects: a travel princess doll and home for two sweet girls we love.

Also, I painted a pair of mailboxes for the kids to store their favorite trinkets, and I even tried my hand at dalmålning, which is a Swedish folk art style.

The kids have been joining me for a lot of the painting, too. Watercolors and dot paints are their particular favorites (and mine, as they clean up easily).

Nesting urges also hit me hard now that I’m in the third trimester. I reorganized the guest room, a few of the kitchen cabinets, and decided our hallway was too boring and remedied it by adding reverse trim and some whimsical stars for the kids (and —who am I kidding — for me too).

Most of my free time was split between childcare and writing or interviewing the subjects for the articles. I’m grateful for my parents and my husband’s flexibility that allows me to work on my writing career in this busy season of life. I’m so grateful. I couldn’t do it without my village.

August came and the days began moving in a blur. Soon, it was time for our second exciting trip of the summer: Jake’s sister’s wedding! We roadtripped all the way to Utah, and the kids were absolute troopers. It was approximately an 11 hour drive, and once again the DVD players came in clutch (along with audiobooks of Dick King Smith titles, silly songs, and the comedy radio drama Cabin Pressure for us parents when the kids were snoozing or watching their own movies).

We absolutely loved being there for her special day, and the kids were thrilled to gain an uncle — though they were slightly disappointed they weren’t going to instantly gain more cousins as soon as they got married. There was much dancing and laughter and singing. Bea discovered she adores dancing, and Michael discovered he adores spinning, so together they made it work.

A funny side story: the night before the wedding I helped add some darts to the bridesmaid dresses to make them fit more comfortably, and I was grateful I had brought my little portable sewing kit with me on the trip. Then, during pictures on the actual wedding day, the groom’s pants ripped down a seam, leaving a six inch hole. Thankfully I had my sewing kit with me still — I sat in the back of the venue and did my fastest ever sewing to hopefully keep the wedding schedule on track and make the couple’s first dance possible. I have now decided I will be putting a sewing kit in every purse, glove box, and suitcase I own. Just in case.

On the roadtrip back we survived a highway closure, a detour that added an hour to our drive through the middle of nowhere Nevada, a winding road up 8,000 feet in the Sierras, carsickness due to the twists and turns, and exhausted kids who were ready to be out of the car and made their objections known at the top of their lungs. But we made it!

Now we’re settling down, preparing for autumn and our new arrival that will come, God willing, with the falling of the leaves. I feel like I haven’t done much to ready myself for this birth given how busy our lives have been, so the rest of August and September are going to be intentionally slow, restful, and preparatory. A time of contemplation; of inner growth.

Maybe I’ll find some answers to these questions I keep mulling over.